I am mad at the internet. I have typed stuff so you could read it and the internet made it go away. It takes a long time for a cat to type stuff on the internet because cats do not have opposable thumbs. So I am very mad that I typed a bunch of stuff and now I have to type it again.
The people babies stayed at our house for 4 days and 4 nights. People babies have never stayed that long and I was scared they would never go home. I found out that there are places Mom does not let the people babies go. They cannot go on our stairs. That is good for me because when they got on my nerves, all I had to do was get on the stairs and they could not get me. Cats are smart. Smarter than stupid dogs and people babies.
We like to play outside on the days that Mom and the big man do not have to go to work. But can a cat have a good time ouside with people babies? NO. Mom and the big man rode the people babies on the bicycles. Black Hair Girl wanted me to go to but Mom said no because I do not have a helmet. I was very mad about that because I want a helmet but no one will buy me one. I will have to go to Walmart by myself and find a helmet so I can ride the bicycles too.
When they got back from their bike ride, Mom got my big new outside water bowl out and filled it up with water. Then the people babies got in it. I am so tired of the people babies bothering my stuff. When they got tired of playing in my big outside water bowl, they chased me. Black Hair Girl wrapped me up in a towel. Mom asked her why and she said "because Monkey is wet." Monkey is not wet! Monkey is a cat! Monkey does not like water!
Then Black Hair Boy tried to pick my nose! I am a cat! I do not need my nose picked!
I was very mad that the people babies were bothering me so I ran away to the house behind us to the yard where the stupid dogs live. I know how to get away from stupid dogs but sometimes it is too hard to get away from people babies. Black Hair Girl stood by the fence and cried because I was in the yard behind us where the stupid dogs live. She wanted me to come back so she could wrap me up in towel again.I did not go back!
Mom took the people babies home when they got back from the place where people act nice to each other for a few minutes called church. I was a very happy cat about that.
Mom packed her little red suitcase and went away to the place where horses run fast for flowers called Kentucky. While she was gone, the big man left me in the house all day. I could not get out until he got home. He tattled on me to Mom! It was not my fault! The big man locked me in the house, he needs to be tattled on!
I was very happy when Mom got home on the day that was Wednesday. I helped her in her office. She was making big stacks of papers called reports and calling important people about money on the telephone. I was attacking her printer and getting into her rubber bands.
We put our scary stuff in our yard so we could be decorated for Halloween. I do not like Halloween because bad stuff happens to black cats on that day. I hide in the house and I tell my internet cat friends Sammie and Ink to hide too. I do not want bad things to happen to my internet cat friends because they are cool, like me, the cool cat.
posted by Monkey @ 4:05 PM
5 Comments:
Monkey, I have been going outside for a few weeks now, but I will definitely be staying in the house on Halloween. Mommy says really mean people do mean things to black cats. Molly is a black dog. Why don't they do mean things to her so that SHE has to stay inside?
My Mommy got her BIG red suitcase out on the day when people are nice to each other for a few minutes and packed it full. I know what that means! Mommy is leaving for a long time! But at least Daddy is home now to let me in and out of the house so that I'm not stuck inside all of the time.
Does your mom have different size red suitcases? My Mommy has three. The little one which means that she will be home tomorrow, the regular red suitcase which is for two or three nights. Then there is the BIG red suitcase, which means that she is going for a long time.
Ink, let's put the stupid dog outside on the night that is Halloween and see what happens.
Mom has different suitcases too. Me and the big man know how long she is going to be gone by the suitcase she takes. I know you are glad your dad is home to let you in and out of the house.
The big man gets on my nerves a lot, but he does give me cat treats and lets me in and out of the house when Mom is gone.
Monkey, those people babies are terrible to you. They pet on you and pick your nose and get your wet.
I feel so bad for you.
My people baby and people kid NEVER leave so you are lucky yours just visit.
Monkey,
Snoopy here. My people babies NEVER leave. One of them leaves for a part of the day. Sometimes mommy leaves me outside and squeals out in the van and is back in 10 minutes and the one of the people babies is missing. What kind of mommy leaves her people baby? Then the other people baby pulls my tail puts her hand in my mouth and tries to chase me. I run fast to the back porch and get in my cage. SHE LOCKS ME IN. What is up with these people babies? Like Sammie said at least your people baby leave. I heard mommy on the phone asking about dog boarding. She mentioned the beach and that I needed to be boarded. Have you ever been boarded? How big was the board? I am frightened and every time I get frightened about leaving the house I get these little pills and I don't remember anything for days. I don't know that this is a good thing.
Snoopy, don't let them Board you!!!! It's not fun. You have to spend days in a little box and you only go outside a little bit every day. And you can't wander around the house and do what you want to do!
Mommy & Daddy have Boarded me a few times. It doesn't hurt, but I like it better when Melissa came to take care of us at our house when Mommy would leave. That was ok. Boarding? No way.
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