We had a nice weekend at our house. I didn't know that it was going to be nice, I was a nervous cat most of the time. That is because I never know what Mom is going to do next. On the day that was Saturday, Mom and the big man put on white shoes with laces and caps and ran away. But they came back, they always do. Then me and Mom worked in the yard picking up sticks, attacking the water hose and planting flowers.

Mom and the big man were looking at the newspaper because they want a couch. I know what a couch is. I like couches a lot. We have three in our house, one downstairs where I nap and 2 upstairs where I nap. But Mom and the big man want another one and that is fine by me because I nap a lot. So they got all fixed up and went to the place where lots of places are that people eat and buy things called Memphis. I never get to go to Memphis and Mom goes there all the time. Mom and the big man went to places to eat and buy couches and then they came home. I was very nervous because they did not bring a couch home. They brought home something else for people babies! They never bring me anything! Everything is always for the people babies!

When Mom brings stuff home for people babies, that means people babies are going to show up at our house. I do not like people babies at our house, they bother me. So I was nervous waiting for the people babies to get here. I was a happy cat because on the day that was Saturday, the people babies did not come to our house.

On the day that was Sunday, Mom and the big man put on pretty clothes to go to the place where people act nice to each other for a few minutes called church but the big man loaded up all the bicycles and the people baby seats in the truck too. I have never been to the place where people act nice to each other for a few minutes called church, but I don't think they use bicycles there so I was confused about that. Well, Mom told me they were going to the place where people act nice to each other for a few minutes called church but they were going to the place where the people babies go. I was a happy cat about that because if Mom goes where the peoples are, they do not come here.

Mom and the big man got back after night time and were very tired. They rode people babies on bicycles and played outside with people babies all day. I was helping the big man put the stuff in the little room by the garage called the storage room and he was busy being the big man and did not let me out of the storage room! He locked me in the storage room! I could not get out! I am mad at the big man!

Mom was outside with her white shoes with laces and cap this morning and she was calling me because we like to roll around on the floor and do stretches called yoga together and she was missing me. I had to meow and yell really loud for her to hear me in the storage room. I am going to bite and scratch the big man when he gets home today. He should not lock cats in the storage room! Cats do not like it in there!

Mom came downstairs from her new office to eat lunch and get the mail. She was in the laundry room doing stuff, probably for the big man, and left her club soda on the counter where I could see it. She was all busy and was not looking at me so I decided to sneak over and have some club soda. I like club soda very much because it is uppity and I like to be uppity like Mom. Well. What did I see? Mom got a new movie. And I do not like the new movie. I do not want Mom doing what the people in the movie are doing. I will be so embarrassed if that punk Jesse from down the street looks in our windows and sees Mom jumping around and carrying on like she has a bug called a bee biting her. I am very nervous about this.

I have to figure out how to get this movie away from Mom so that she will not do this bad thing. I do not want to be embarassed with a Mom who jumps around and carries on like she has a bug called a bee biting her. That would not be cool and I am a cool cat.