I know Mom likes me best.

On the day that was Sunday, it was a special day for Mom. It was the day that everybody calls Mom on the telephone and gives her presents called a birthday. Mom had a nice day on the day that was Sunday. The big man took her to the place where other people cooked her lunch and cleaned up the table called a restaurant. Me and Mom worked in our yard that day and planted flowers around because that is what me and Mom like to do. The big man helped Mom by falling asleep in the nice swing in our yard.

The big man took Mom over to her people mom's house for supper and the people kid Justin and his girl were there and Mom's people brother that is mean to cats and some other people Mom likes. They had a big dinner with cake and people treats. I was not invited and that is not fair! Mom wants to spend special days with who she likes best!

All the people at the special dinner got Mom presents for the special day called birthday. When she got home that night she was talking about her nice presents and I was very mad because no one took me to Walmart to get Mom a nice present. I could have got Mom some little fish or something for her special day. But I didn't have anything. I thought about that between naps on the day that was Tuesday. It was nice outside and birds were everywhere so I thought I'd go find Mom a present just from me. I've brought Mom fat birds before and I don't think she liked those. Mom likes chickens and I have hunted everywhere but I can't find chickens to bring home for Mom.

So I went hunting that night. I got something very special for Mom, something I have never got for her before! I knew she would like it because I liked it. I liked it so well that I ate it's legs off before I gave it to Mom. That punk Jesse from down the street says the legs are the best part. I should have saved a leg for Mom because when she came outside and saw my pretty present for her, she screamed. She fussed at me about my pretty present! She did not like it! I worked hard to get that pretty present for her!

I did not know Mom did not pretty frogs without legs for presents. I felt bad about that and decided to get her something else she might like better. I went out that morning and got her a surprise! Something I knew she would like! Mom came downstairs from her new office to eat lunch. She was busy eating lunch and working on her computer when I snuck in the cat hole and came in the back door. I was being very quiet so she would not see me with her surprise.

I walked around the back of the table and went under the table and laid the surprise on her foot. I was so sneaky! She thought I was laying on her foot and she talked sweet to me. I backed up so she could see that it was not me laying on her foot and then she would know it was a surprise. She saw me and then looked at her foot.

She screamed again! She did not like my half dead bleeding squirrel that I caught just for her surprise! I worked so hard to catch that squirrel and I was very careful not to eat its legs off before I gave it to Mom. But did she appreciate my surprise? NO she did not! She jumped up from the table and got the broom and the dust pan and some big gloves. I was trying to guard my half dead bleeding squirrel so it would not run off. Mom hit me with the broom! She is a mean Mom! I'm not getting her any more half dead bleeding squirrels! She tried to sweep her surprise up in the dust pan and it was trying to get away. She fought and wrestled with the squirrel and was saying loud words I am not allowed to say. I decided I better help her so I tried to fight with the half dead bleeding squirrel while Mom was trying to catch it. She hit me again!

Mom wrestled the half dead bleeding squirrel into the dust pan and held it in there with the broom and ran to the back door. The back door was locked and Mom did not have any hands to unlock it with. She had to put the broom down to unlock the door and when she did, I saw the half dead bleeding squirrel try to get away so I jumped up to get it and it fell in the floor and started running. Mom started screaming again she beat my half dead bleeding squirrel with the broom! I was trying to catch it for her and she started beating me with the broom! I was so mad at Mom! I was just trying to help her with her surprise and what does she do? She beats me with the broom!

Mom got the half dead bleeding squirrel out the back door and threw me out with it. Then she locked all the doors and told me I can never come back in the house. That is not fair! She lets the big man come in all the time no matter what he does.

That punk Jesse from down the street heard all the commotion and thought I was being beat up by those stupid dogs that live in the yard behind us, so he came down to watch. He told me that it is OK to get presents for people, but people do not like their presents in their houses. Presents like half dead bleeding squirrels can make a mess. I felt bad about making a mess in our nice house, so I decided I better make it up to Mom.

I know she likes nice moles, and they are easy to catch, so I got her one. I did not take it in the house or leave it on the steps like the pretty frog. I put it on top of her car so she could see it and it would not make a mess. She saw the nice mole on top her car and she did not like it! What is wrong with Mom? She does not like any presents I bring her!

I am not going to bring Mom presents any more. She does not appreciate my presents. The next time I catch a pretty frog or a fat bird or something like that, I am going to save it and give it to the people kid Justin and his girl. I bet they would like my presents because they are cool, like me. I am a cool cat.