Throne Monkey

Monday, January 29, 2007

Everybody wonders where I have been. I've been right here. It is Mom that is the problem. She has not let me use her computer. She says her computer is old and slow and cats don't need to play on it.

I told her I do not play on her computer! I write to my internet friends on the computer! They are worried about me! I have to write to them!

It would take me a bunch of days and nights to tell you everything. I have been very busy doing chores. It was busy at our house during Christmas. Mom and the big man had to put all the trees and lights away and clean up messes all over the house. I had a lot of extra chores and I got tired of working all the time.

The big man stayed at work all the time so he wouldn't have to do chores and that was not fair! That just left more for me to do.

Santa did come to see me and he brought me toys! Yes he did! I have a mouse that hangs in the door that I play with all the time.

People were over here a lot at Christmas. Sometimes there were a bunch of people and sometimes not very many. I had fun with most of the people, but wouldn't just know it, the people babies were here a lot! Especially Black Hair Girl who the big man says is Mom's favorite. He says Mom is not supposed to have a favorite. He only says that because he knows I am Mom's favorite not him and he wants her to stop having favorites so she will like him as much as she likes me.

It has been cold outside and I have been sleeping in the house a lot at night and all day in the day time. I am a very proud cat because I whooped that punk Jesse from down the street right in front of Mom and the big man one night! They had on their white shoes with laces and were walking around the street and I was following them. They walked by that punk Jesse's house and he came out and just ran over there and whooped him! Mom was hollering at me to stop because she knew I was whooping him hard and she likes for Jesse's people boy to mow our yard so she didn't want Jesse's people all mad at her because I whooped their punk cat. But Mom knows I can do it!

The people kid Justin has a girl now. Her name is Jennifer and I like her because she holds the people babies so they can't get me. I was worried that I wouldn't like her because she has a dog and dogs are stupid, well, except for my internet dog friends Sable and Molly. But she likes cats too so maybe its OK if she has a dog. She did not bring her dog to our house and I like her even better because of that.

The people babies all had birthday parties but I didn't have to go to any of them. Black Hair Girl is 2 years old; Red Head Boy is 2 years old and Black Hair Boy is 1 year old. Black Hair Boy cannot walk yet but he crawls very fast like a little race car. He can get me if I stay in the floor. He likes to bite me and I don't like it because he doesn't have any teeth and he slobbers.

Well, I am very tired, I have been playing with the mouse that hangs in the door that Santa brought me and scratching the big man because well, he's the big man and he needs to be scratched. And Mom won't let him scratch me back because I am the favorite because I am a cool cat.