I wish the Big Man would go live in the shed. He gets me in trouble all the time.

I was not a happy cat on the day that was Friday. Mom left and said she would be back in a little while. I get nervous when Mom leaves on Friday because that is the day she likes to go get people babies. She brings them to our house and they bring suitcases and diapers and they stay for 2 nights and they bother me. Well, sure enough, Mom came back with a people baby! I was not happy!

This time is was Pretty Girl and no other people babies. Pretty Girl is a little people baby. She lays in a bucket or in the bed. She cannot talk or pull my tail like Black Hair Boy. She just lays around and cries until someone puts a bottle in her mouth. Mom talked to Pretty Girl and sometimes Pretty Girl would smile and Mom would just all worked up about it. I get so tired of Mom getting worked up over people babies. I do all kinds of cute cat stuff to Mom and she does not get worked up about any of it. I think I'll just lay around and do nothing because it does not matter to Mom that the cat is being cute.

It got cold outside and a cat gets frisky when it is cold. Mom has been busy working to make money to buy me cat treats and the Big Man goes to work and then to the place where he reads books and writes numbers on paper called school, so I've been taking care of myself outside. Cats are not the only thing that gets frisky when it is cold outside! I've had fun catching nice treats by myself.

I have been gathering nice treats every day and since I have so many, when I am through with the treats and have extra, I give one to Mom and sometimes to the Big Man.

Do you think the Big Man appreciates my presents? No he does not! I go to all the trouble to catch half dead bleeding squirrels for him and then I do something extra and eat off the half dead bleeding squirrel's head and put it right there on the steps for the Big Man and does he even say thank you? No he does not! He yells and fusses and tells Mom the cat is a killer. Yes, the cat is a killer! That's what cats do! He should be happy that I share my treats with him!

Well. Pretty Girl stayed at our house until the day that was Sunday. Mom loaded Pretty Girl in her bucket and put the bucket in our car and went to the people kid Julie's house to take Pretty Girl back. Mom stayed at the people kid Julie's house to sleep. Me and the big man were home by ourselves and we decided to watch a movie on the big TV upstairs. I did not like the movie the big man picked out so I went to the bedroom to take a nap. The big man finished watching the movie and went downstairs to go to bed. The big man shut the door and trapped me upstairs! What is wrong the big man? I do not have food upstairs and there is no nice flower bed up there for me to poo in!

I went to the door and meowed very loud and scratched. The big man did not come let me out. I could hear the big man making loud sleeping noises all the way up the stairs through the door. I had to poo really bad. I was so mad at the big man! I had to poo on the bed where the people kids sleep! I should have pooed on the big man!

The big man finally let me out before he went to work. I was mad at him and when he opened the door I hissed at him but I did not have time to bite and scratch him because I had to get outside fast. Of course the big man called Mom and told her the cat pooed on the bed. He did not tell Mom he locked me upstairs! He makes me so mad!

Mom came home and I was waiting to tattle on the big man. Mom was not mad at me but she was not mad at the big man either. She should be very mad at the big man! He is not cool. He needs to live in the shed and leave the cat alone because the cat is me and I am a cool cat.

We had a busy weekend that was Friday and Saturday. The day that was Friday was the day that is bad for black cats called Halloween. That is the day the people kids all around wear scary dress up clothes called costumes and come to our house and will not leave until Mom gives them treats called candy. We did not have many people kids in dress ups called costumes come to our house and Mom and the big man are mad about that because now they have to eat the treats called candy by themselves. I told Mom that next time the day that is bad for black cats called Halloween gets here, she should just get cat treats to give to the people kids in dress ups called costumes because if we have a lot left, I will eat them all and not be mad.

The next day was the day that was Saturday. Mom and the big man did work in our yard for a little while but then they had to get all dressed up in nice clothes to go the place where a bunch of people were all happy and dancing about the people kid Justin's big party with his girl called a reception. Why does the people kid Justin get to have two big parties with his girl and I never have any parties? Why do I have to stay home and the people babies always get to go to parties? That is not fair!

It is not hot outside anymore and I like it when it is not hot. I've been busy finding new places to take naps. I like being outside, but I have a problem with the big grey cat. He thinks I am his friend and he comes over to our yard a lot. Sometimes he comes in our garage and eats my Meow Mix. I hiss and spit at him but I do not like to fight with him because he beats me up and that is so embarassing. I don't want that punk Jesse from down the street to think that I can be whooped because then I would have problems with him too.

If I don't want to worry about the big grey cat or the punk Jesse from down the street, I just go one of my napping spots in the house. Mom will not let other cats in our house and that is good. My cat treats are in the house and I do not want other cats bothering my treats. That would not be cool and I am a cool cat.