We have not had fun at our house.

We had a weekend that had 3 days. Sometimes when we have one of those, Mom gets a project and sometimes Mom and the big man go fun places and leave me at home which is not fun for me at all. On this weekend with 3 days, Mom, the big man, the people kid Julie and her man and the people kid Justin and his girl all went to the place where water goes very fast in the river with rocks called Ocoee. Mom and the big man go to this place sometimes and they get in boats and wear jackets and helmets and try to ride very fast in the river with rocks called white water rafting. It is very hard to do and people get hurt and wet all the time when they do it. Mom and the big man think this is very fun but I don't think it is. They went there and left me at home.

Mrs. Baptist and her little people kids came over every day and gave me food and water and they stayed for a minute to pet me and play with me. I like that. But they did not let me in the house and I had to stay outside and run from those stupid dogs that live in the yard behind us.

Mom and the big man were gone to the day that was Monday. I was asleep in my chair on the porch with the screen around it so the big grey cat cannot get in. I knew something was very wrong because Mom was not happy and she was limping around and whining. I kept asking her what was wrong with her and the big man said that when all the people were in the boat wearing jackets and helmets trying to ride very fast in the river with rocks called white water rafting, the BOAT TURNED OVER. All the people were dumped out in the in the place where water goes very fast in the river with rocks called Ocoee and they could not get back in the boat! The water was going very fast and the people were in the water and they got hit with rocks and it was very bad. Mom has black spots all over that hurt called bruises and she was very afraid in the river where the water goes very fast over the rocks call Ocoee. People had to get other boats and go out in the river with rocks and water going very fast and fish Mom out! I did not like that at all! If Mom gets hurt really bad, who is going to go to Walmart and get me some cat treats? Mom needs to take care of herself.

I was glad to see Mom and the big man and I was trying to make Mom feel better by sitting in her lap and purring while I tried to eat her chicken for supper. We were sitting at our table and the wind outside started blowing very fast and the rain started coming in all our windows. Mom and the big man had to hurry and close the windows. The wind was blowing harder and harder and I did not like it. Stuff started hitting our house and Mom got scared and ran to the closet to hide from the wind. I stayed in the kitchen with the big man in case he needed me to eat the rest of Mom's chicken. But then the big man got scared and ran to the closet with Mom. I got scared because the big man never goes to the closet to hide from the wind so I knew it must be bad. I went to the closet too.

We hid in our closet for a long time until the wind went away. Then we went outside to see what happened. Oh no! Our yard was a big mess with sticks and stuff all over it. Our nice tree fell down on our fence! The wind made it fall down.

And the wind messed up our flowers on our porch and made our rocking chair turn over! It was a mess! All our neighbors had messes in their yards too. Big trees were in our road and all over our neighbor's houses. Our lights went off and would not come back on.

Mom and the big man and all the neighbors had to walk around and see everybody's house and make sure all the people were OK. Mrs. Baptist and her little people kids were worried about me but Mom told them I was fine. I was in the closet hiding from the wind because I did not want the wind to blow me away. That would not be cool and I am a cool cat.

Mom has been gone to the place where there is a lot of sand and water called the beach. She really liked it there because it was very warm and sunny. Mom does not like to be cold and she says it is still cold at our house but me and the big man do not think so. Mom bothers us because she does not turn on the blower at our house that makes it cool called the air conditioner. Mom likes to be very hot and me and big man do not. I don't know what we are going to do about that because it is getting hotter every day and Mom still says it is cold. Maybe she needs to go back to the place where there is a lot of sand and water called the beach and live for a while.

Mom is usually very nice to me and I like to be nice to her too so she will remember to bring me cat treats from Walmart. On the day that was Tuesday, I came in the house very early before it was day time. Mom was trying to sleep on the couch because the big man made loud sleeping noises in the bed and Mom could not sleep there with loud sleeping noises. When I came in, the big man got in the shower and Mom got back in her bed. She said she was very tired because she had to sleep on the couch.

Mom slept until the bird came out of the clock 7 times. Mom never sleeps that long! I knew she must be very tired. Me and Mom had coffee and we watched the news. After that, Me and Mom got in the floor and did stretches called yoga. Mom was grunting and whining about it. I knew she didn't feel very good and I wanted to cheer her up.

So I went outside and found us a lively little chipmunk to play with. I was very careful not to hurt the lively little chipmunk, I brought him in the house by biting his tail. What do you think Mom did when I brought her the lively little chipmunk? She got mad and yelled at me! She never likes stuff I bring her! I'm not bringing her anything else! When I opened my mouth to talk back to her, the lively little chipmunk got away and started running around our living room. Mom just got madder. I told her I would catch the lively little chipmunk, but she was still mad.

And when she gets mad, what is the first thing she does? She yells and then she gets the broom. I am so tired of that broom! I'm going to poo on it! Mom chased the lively little chipmunk all over the living room and kitchen but she could not catch it or hit it with the broom. I was trying to get the lively little chipmunk too but Mom kept hitting me with that stupid broom. I hate that broom. Mom opened all the doors and kept chasing the lively little chipmunk around until she finally swept it out the front door. I was going out after it and what did she do? She hit me again with that stupid broom!

I am going to hide that broom. I do not like that broom at all. I am not bringing Mom any more presents or toys. She does not like anything I bring her. I'm just going to take my naps and mind my own business. Because it is not cool to get hit with a broom and I am a cool cat.

Me and Mom have problems using the computer and I can't tell my internet cat friends all the stuff I need to tell them. The big man broke his computer and he has to use mine and Mom's computer. This is not good because the big man is always using our computer and we cannot type stuff to our internet cat friends.

Mom packed the big red suitcase and went to the place called Arizona where there is no grass and trees do not have leaves on them but prickly things called cactus. My internet cat friend Frankie lives there with stupid dogs and his Mom and Dad. Frankie's Mom and Mom had fun in the place called Arizona where there is no grass and trees do not have leaves on them but prickly things called cactus. Frankie's Mom and Dad cooked very good food and Mom went over there to pet Frankie and the stupid dogs and ate the very good food. I am mad about that because I want to see Frankie and I know he would share his good food with me. But I did not get to go with Mom.

Frankie's Mom and Mom went on a long walk up the mountain called a hike. They walked for a long time and got very thirsty. Frankie did not get to go on the hike either and he was mad about that too. Stupid dogs can go on long walks up the mountains called hikes but cats cannot. Cats would like to go on long walks up mountains called hikes because there are snakes on mountains and cats love to play with snakes. Frankie's Mom and Mom did not see snakes on the long walk the mountain called a hike but they saw things that look like snakes with legs called lizards. I have not seen a lizard at our house, the big man says we do not have them around here. I would like to go visit Frankie in the place called Arizona where there is no grass and trees have no leaves and prickly things on them called cactus so that I can play with lizards too.

But what was I doing while Mom was having fun with Frankie's mom? Home fighting with the big man! He is always bothering me and I have to bite and scratch him all the time.

Mom came home on the day that was Thursday and she was very busy. It was a special day where all the people kids called Mom and talked nice to her called Mother's Day. It is like her birthday. She got presents and cards. I was mad because nobody took me to Walmart to get Mom a present. I told Mom that I wanted to get her a present and she told me that I would get in trouble if I got her any more presents! She is so mean to me! She does not like my fat birds, nice moles and half dead bleeding squirrels! She didn't even like my frog with the legs ate off!

Mom is going away tomorrow to the place were there is a lot of sand and water called the beach. She is very happy about that because it is hot at the place where there is a lot of sand and water called the beach. The big man says Mom is an amphibian because she is cold all the time except when she goes to very hot places and stays in the sun. I do not know what that means but I will be glad when Mom goes to the place where there is a lot of sand and water called the beach so we can turn the heat off in our house. A cat gets hot when the heat is on in the summer time. That is not cool and I am a cool cat.