I thought me and Mom would have a good time all week with the Big Man gone away to the place where people are very poor and do not have enough food called Nicaragua. But NO! What did Mom do the very first day? She went to the place where people sing sad songs and cry in their drinks call Nashville to see Pretty Girl. Mom left me some food and water on the porch with the screen around it so the grey cat can't get in but it was very cold and my water turned to ice. I was so mad about that. I had to go to the little house in the backyard called the guest house and asked the nice lady to give me some water.

It has been very cold at our house and Mom does not like that. One day we got up and there was white ice all over our yard called snow. We did not like that. When we have white ice called snow on our road, Mom cannot put on her white shoes with laces and run away and then she gets grouchy and worked up. I cannot dig a hole to poo in when we have white ice called snow and I get grouch and worked up about that. I thought about pooing in the big man's shoes but then Mom would find it and clean it up and she would get very mad at me and throw me out in the garage and not let me back in.

I have been staying the house a lot and fighting with my new cat toys. I have to go out for a few minutes to poo but then I come right back in and lay by the nice hole in the floor that blows out hot air. That makes me warm. I asked Mom to lay in the floor with me by the nice hole with hot air but she is too busy working in her new office and eating all the candy on the table in the living room. I told her she should leave some of that candy for the big man but she does not listen to me. Sometimes Mom is not cool. I am always a cool cat.

We had Mom's internet friends at our house for a bunch of days and nights. None of my internet cat friends got to come with their Moms and I am very mad about that. I was going to poo in all the internet Mom's shoes, but one of the Moms brought me a bag of toys and I did not want her to take them away so I left their shoes alone.

The Moms cooked too much food. They stayed up past bedtme and laughed and talked. They read books and typed on their computers a lot. I like all the Moms so I took turns laying in their laps so they could pet me.

Mom sent the Big Man away while the internet Moms were here because the Moms did not want boys to bother them. I do not want boys to bother me either but Mom does not send them away for me!

After the internet Moms left, the big man came home. Mom helped him pack up the big red suitcase. I was confused because Mom is the one who packs up the big red suitcase and goes away on airplanes. But this time the big man went away.

Yes, he did and it is just me and Mom here for a bunch of days and nights. The big man went to a place very far away where people are poor and do not have enough food called Nicaragua. The big man is helping people get food. He is working to build a place where people can go to act nice to each other for a few minutes called church. Mom talks to the big man on the computer. I do not get to talk to the big man at all.

I thought it would be nice without the big man here to bother me, but I do not have anyone to bite and scratch now. Mom gets mad and says loud words I am not allowed to say if I bite and scratch her. Sometimes she gets mad and throws me in the garage. I do not like that. So I have been fighting with my new cat toys and staying out of trouble.

Mom says the big man will be home on the day that is Saturday. I was very happy about that until I found out that Mom is going to get some of the people babies before the big man gets home. Mom is taking Black Hair Girl, Black Hair Boy and Red Head Boy with her to get the big man from the airplane. That means they will stay at our house for days and nights and I do not like that. That is not cool and I am a cool cat.

I have not told my internet cat friends stuff in a long time. Santa Claus did come to see me! I got cat treats and some new cat toys. I must have been a very good cat this year because I got a lot of cool cat stuff.

Right after Christmas, Mom got all worked up about getting our house cleaned up and all our Christmas stuff back to the hiding place called the attic. Me and the big man had to help her get stuff packed up and we did not like that because we were tired and needed to take naps. Mom was telling us to do stuff all the time called orders and we did not like that at all.

Me and the big man were fussing about Mom telling us to do stuff all the time called orders and he told me that Mom is having a big party at our house that will last a long time. He said that a bunch of Mom's internet friends are coming to our house to stay for a bunch of days and nights. He said Mom was our house to be neat and nice for her big party.

I did not believe the big man because well, he is the big man so I emailed my internet cat friend Sammie who lives in the place where a bunch of liars live called Washington DC. Sammie said that her Mom was coming to this big party and so is Ink's mom. When Mom was busy doing chores, I went to her new office upstairs and did a conference call with all my internet cat friends and found out that a bunch of my internet cat friends' moms are coming to our house. Lucy who is very smart and knows about numbers and lives in the place where two cities look a like called Minnesota said her mom is coming. My internet cat friend Frankie who lives in the place where the trees have no leaves and prickly things on them called cactus said his mom is coming. Bruno and Sullivan, who's mom made them ride in a cage in a car for a bunch of days and nights so they could move to a new house far away called New Hampshire said their mom is coming too. That stupid dog that Mom makes me be friends with called Snoopy that lives in the place where only bad things happen called Atlanta is coming. Fuzzy's mom from the place where cars go around really fast in a circle called Indianpolis is coming too.

Me and my internet cat friends decided to ask our moms if they could come to the big party too and our Moms said NO. That is not fair. We want to have a party too! Our moms get to have a party with their internet friends, why can't we? We decided that we will poo in their shoes while they are gone.

The big man had a birthday. Of course the people babies had to come over so the big man could have his birthday. They chased me and Black Hair Girl put her necklace on me. I get so mad about that! I am a boy cat! I do not wear necklaces!

Black Hair Girl and Red Head Boy helped Mom make the big man a nice cake while Black Hair Boy chased me with a helicopter. I get so tired of people babies. They come to our house all the time.

Mom's big party with her internet friends starts tomorrow when Sammie's mom gets here. I have been helping Mom get things ready because if I don't she will not give me cat treats. I don't know what I will do when all the internet moms are here. I will try to poo in all their shoes when they are not looking because they did not bring my internet cat friends with them. We internet cats are cool too and we want a party too. This is not cool, I don't like it because I am a cool cat.