Tonight is the night! Santa Claus comes!

We've been very busy having Christmas at our house. On the night that was Friday, me, Mom and the big man got all the presents and all the pretty paper out and we sat in the living room and put the pretty paper on the presents. I helped by clawing the pretty paper and biting the big man. Our table in the big eating room has the people dishes on it and we are just waiting for Mom to put good food in it so we can eat. I do not want to miss out on good food, so I try to be at the table whenever I hear Mom in the kitchen.

We have lots of nice presents under both of our trees. I have been waiting for Mom to put a present under the tree with my name on but she has not done that. At least I don't think she has but I'm not sure because I can't read.

On the day that was Saturday, Mom and the big man got up early and Mom cooked lots of food. I know what happens when Mom cooks a lot of food, too many people come over to eat. Sure enough, all the people kids started coming over and wouldn't you know it, they brought those people babies with them! We have had enough of those people babies! They messed up our nice house last week! Can't they stay home?

Mom and the big man and all the people kids and people babies had presents to open. The people babies got a bunch of new toys and what did I get? Nothing. Why do the people babies get everything? I am a good cat and I want some presents too.

On the day that was Sunday Mom and the big man went to visit people and came back at bedtime. They told me that just one more night and Santa Claus would come. That is tonight! I am going to nap in the house tonight so I can see Santa Claus! I know he is going to bring me presents because I am a cool cat.

Mom and I got busy last night putting pretty paper on Christmas presents. Mom says we are having a big Christmas dinner at our house on the day that will be Saturday. All the people kids and people babies will be here and we are going to have presents! I am very happy about that because I like presents! And there are only 7 more days until Santa Claus comes!

There is a little problem though. Mom said she was going to take me to Dr. Smith's hospital because she says I am not acting right. She does not like it that I nap so much and that my meow does not sound like it used to. She says I eat too much food now. I told her I am a cold, tired, hungry cat and I am not sick. Then she says I am too mean, I scratched a people baby and last night when me and the big man were fighting, I bit him very hard and made him say loud words and bleed. Mom says I do not usually fight like that.

I did not mean to bite the big man so hard, but he had on a very thick sleeve called a sweat shirt and I didn't know how far to bite. If the big man would wait until he takes his big shirts off to fight with me, I would know how hard to bite. But now Mom thinks something is wrong with me and she wants me to go to Dr. Smith's hospital.

I do not like Dr. Smith's hospital! They shave my leg! They stick me with pins! They make me eat rocks called medicine and they have stupid dogs there. That is no place for a cat when Santa Claus is on his way. She said she would wait and see how I act for a while but that she is going to take me there soon. I do not like that and I am telling Santa Claus that she is bad. Dr. Smith's hospital is not cool and I am a cool cat.

I am a tired cat. All of the people babies came to our house and we have had a hard weekend. Black Hair Girl, Black Hair Boy and Red Head Boy were all here. They ran around and hollered a lot. They jumped on our nice bed that hides in our new couch. They jumped on Mom's bed, they bothered our pretty trees and broke balls on them. Our house was loud and noisy the whole time and it made me nervous.

They make our house very messy. On the day that was Saturday when the big man was at work and me and Mom were home by ourselves with all the people babies, they turned over all the chairs in our kitchen and made something called a fort under our table. Then they ran to the bedroom and ran to the living room and laughed and hollered. Black Hair Boy likes to shut doors and Mom gets very mad about that. One time he shut the door in the bathroom and locked it, and he was trapped in our bathroom! Mom could not get him out! She was knocking on the door and trying to break the door with a toothpick. I told Mom that little toothpicks are not going to break doors! But she would not listen about that. She got tools out of the big man's tool box and tried to open the door and nothing worked. Black Hair Boy was getting into stuff in our bathroom and I did not like that because my big water bowl is in there and I did not want the people baby to mess it up.

Mom had to call the neighbor, Mr. Cravitz, to come get the people baby out of the bathroom. Mr. Cravitz had to get out in the rain and come to our house with a little screwdriver to get the door open. Mom was very mad at Black Hair Boy and she whooped him because he locked the door and was trapped. Black Hair Boy cried and wanted to go home with Mr. Cravitz and I told Mom to let him go, we had enough people babies at our house and we would not miss one. But Mom made Black Hair Boy stay and he cried for a long time.

Black Hair Girl followed me around all the time and tried to pet me when I was napping. I was trying to play with her and she got in the way and I didn't mean to but I scratched her just a little bit. Black Hair Girl is a tattle tail! She started crying and ran to Mom and said "Monkey scwratch me." Mom got very mad at me about that. She said I cannot bite and scratch the people babies and she will put me outside if I am mean to the people babies. Then she told me she would tell Santa Claus!

The people babies have so much stuff when they come to our house. Not only do they mess up our stuff, but they bring messy stuff to our house and it is everywhere! How is a cat supposed to get a nap with stuff all over the floor?

And Black Hair Boy and Red Head Boy still poo in their pants and they smell so bad! Mom will not let me poo in the house but she lets those people babies poo in the house and she has to clean it up. That is not fair! If they can poo in the house, I should be able to poo in the house too.

Two of the people babies went away on Saturday but Red Head Boy stayed until the day that was Sunday. On Saturday night, Mom's people mom and dad and the big man's people mom and dad came over to our house and the people kid Justin and his girl came too. The big man cooked us steaks and all the people brought the people babies Christmas presents. I am very mad about that because no one brought me any presents! I have been around longer than the people babies and I am much nicer than they are! Why can't I have presents too?

Mom put all the chairs around the big table in the dining room so we could all eat steaks. But when I jumped in a chair, I got in trouble! Mom made me go outside! That is not fair! I was hungry too and they let Red Head Boy eat steak! I do not like those people babies.

Mom finally took Red Head Boy home on Sunday. I was just worn out from having them here for so long. I had to take a bunch of naps because I was so tired of people babies. Mom says we are not having company again until the next day that will be Saturday so I need to get a lot of naps so I can be ready. The only company I want to see is Santa Claus. Because he is cool and I am a cool cat.

I need some help. People babies are here! Help!

Mom went somewhere today and when she came back she had Black Hair Girl and Black Hair Boy. Only 12 days until Santa Claus comes and I am trying to be a very very good cat and I have people babies here to bother me.

They are bothering are nice Christmas stuff and I had to run up in one of our nice trees to get away from them. I have to run away outside right now because Black Hair Boy is pulling my tail. That is not cool and I am a cool cat.

Only 13 days until Santa Claus comes. I am still waiting. I have been doing very good things so Santa Claus can see that I am a good cat. I have been very nice to Mom, I stay beside her all the time and purr. Instead of taking naps all day, I climb on her desk and help her type on her computer and I keep a check on her club soda for her. She is not being nice back to me because she shoo's me off her desk, but that is OK. If she wants to be mean and not get any toys and treats from Santa Claus, that is her problem.

Speaking of problems, me and the big man got in a fight yesterday and I am very mad at the big man! I was trying to be good yesterday after lunch. I was napping under the pretty tree in the living room and I heard some noises in Mom's sleeping room. I went back there to see what the noise was and I found a baby squirrel in Mom's sleeping room! Baby squirrels are not supposed to be in our house! I chased the baby squirrel and I caught it for Mom. It was a fun baby squirrel, so I was playing with it just a little bit when I brought it to the kitchen for Mom to see.

Mom got all worked up and said to get that baby squirrel out of the house. I was going to but I was playing with it first. Mom got the broom and started hitting me and the baby squirrel! She is a mean Mom! She was trying to sweep my baby squirrel out the door! That is my baby squirrel, I'll take it outside! I was hissing at Mom and her broom and she was hitting and chasing my baby squirrel all over the kitchen. I was trying to get my baby squirrel before Mom hurt it bad and it couldn't play.

Mom chased the baby squirrel into the little bathroom with my big water bowl by the kitchen. It hid behind the garbage can and I was trying to get it. It ran out and climbed on the sink and I jumped up to get it. Mom was still hitting it with the broom and the little bathroom is little so she was hitting the walls and everything in the bathroom. Finally she gave up and shut the door with me and the baby squirrel still in the little bathroom. I thought that was very nice of her. I got to play with my baby squirrel in that little bathroom and it could not run away.

Then the big man got home. Mom told the big man that all the stuff in the little bathroom by the kitchen was his problem. I think she got that backwards as the big man is a problem. The big man put on gloves and came in the bathroom. He tried to kick me out of the bathroom and I did not want to get kicked out of the bathroom. I was hissing and scratching him and he was saying loud words I am not allowed to say. Me and him fought for a long time and he kicked me out of the little bathroom! I am so mad at the big man! He was trying to steal my baby squirrel!

I could hear the big man playing with my baby squirrel so I scratched and meowed at the door so he would let me back in. He would not. He is a very mean big man! He caught my baby squirrel in the garbage can and took it outside. I followed him so I could get my baby squirrel back. But what did he do? He shoo'ed me away and let my baby squirrel go and it ran away.

The big man is always trying to get my food and playmates. I worked hard to catch that baby squirrel and it was mine and the big man took it away from me. I do not like the big man. I know Santa Claus saw the big man being mean. I know the big man is not going to get any toys and treats because he is a bad big man. I did not come back in the house last night until very late and I ignored the big man and just played with Mom.

I am going to get lots of toys and cat treats from Santa because I have been very good and I am a cool cat.

I have been waiting for Santa Claus. I have been a good cat but Mom has not been a good Mom so I know Santa Claus is not going to bring her toys and treats. On the day that was Friday, Mom left very early to go a meeting where she talks to people and gives them things call speeches. When she got home, she was very busy in her office and in the kitchen and she packed a suitcase. She was making me tired with all her packing and going up and down our stairs so I went outside after lunch. I was prowling around outside for a long time and when I came back home after it was dark, Mom and the big man did not come home. They ran off and left me at home! I was so mad! Mrs. Baptist and her nice people kids came to our house and gave me food and cat treats and said Mom and the big man went to place where the people kid Julie and her man live where a lot of people sing sad songs about dogs and their mommas called Nashville. I was so mad! I want to go to the people kid Julie's house! She has cats! I am a cat! I can go too!

Well. When Mom and the big man were in the place where a lot of people sing sad songs about dogs and their mommas called Nashville, the people kid Justin went there too with his girl and all of them had a family weekend. I am family! I am the cat! I want to go on family weekend! I am so mad at Mom!

While Mom and the big man and the people kids were having their family weekend, they went to a very big place with lots of pretty Christmas lights everywhere called the Opryland Hotel. They walked around with other people and saw pretty Christmas stuff. And what was I doing? I had to stay under the little house in the back called the shed to stay out of the rain.

After they walked around the big place with lots of pretty Christmas stuff and lights called Opryland Hotel, they went to see the Grinch! I love the Grinch! I want to see the Grinch! But what was I doing? I was running from those stupid dogs that live in the yard behind us in the rain! Oh, I am so mad at Mom!

After they went to see the Grinch, they went to a place where people men chased each other on ice and tried to hit a flat ball with a stick called hockey. They laughed and yelled and had a good time! And what was I doing? Sleeping in a wet tree to stay away from the stupid dogs that live in the yard behind us! I am telling Santa Claus as soon as I can find his phone number.

Mom should not leave me at home on family weekend. That is not fair. The people kid Julie has cats and they are nice cats. I could visit them while the people are off seeing lights and the Grinch and people men chasing each other on ice and trying to hit a flat ball with a stick called hockey. I was very mad on the day that was Sunday and I decided to run away. So I did.
I did not come home on Sunday even though Mom was calling me. On the day that was Monday, Mom was out walking before the sun came up and I saw her so I decided I better go home because I told Santa Claus to bring my toys and cat treats to Mom's house and I didn't want him to think I didn't live there and give my toys and cat treats to some other cat.
Mom saw me coming out of that punk Jesse's garage. She started laughing at me about that punk Jesse. I still don't like him, but sometimes cats have to stick together. There are stupid dogs that chase cats and there is an annoying puppy that bothers us too. Me and that punk Jesse decided that we should stick together for a little bit so we can beat the stupid dogs and we don't want Santa Claus to see us fighting. So I was hanging out with that punk Jesse while Mom was gone but that does not mean I like him.
But I do like his Mom because she gave me cat treats. She is cool and I'll stay at their house again if Mom runs off and leaves me home on family weekend. Because I am a cool cat.

We only have 19 more days and nights and Santa Claus will come to our house. I am still waiting for him and I am being a good cat. Mom fussed at me today because I ate one of her rubber bands and she said cats are not supposed to eat rubber bands and I will be in trouble with Santa Claus. I already told Santa Claus to bring me some rubber bands to eat so he knows.

I have been chatting with my internet cat friends when Mom is not looking, but please don't tell her because she says cats should not chat on the internet, they can only email.

My internet cat friend Lucy, who is very smart and lives far away where two cities look alike called Minnesota already has a present and now me, Ink and Sammie want one too. We emailed Santa Claus and told him to bring us this.

Lucy really likes it. She says she can just stand there and have this for a long time. We have a problem because we don't know what it is called so we told Santa to bring us the nice thing that makes Lucy feel good. Lucy said the bad part is that the thing only works if a people is holding it. That is not a problem for Ink, because her dad is home from the place where people are mad and fighting with each called Iraq and he has all day to play with the thing with Ink. Sammie said that her people go to work every day but they come home and there are little people kids that might help her with the thing that makes her feel good.

I already know that I'm going to have a problem with the nice thing that makes Lucy feel good. If Santa Claus brings me one, that means I have to be nice to the big man. Mom will go away on airplanes again after Santa Claus comes and leave me here with the big man. Me and the big man fight all the time so I will have to stop biting and scratching him and be nice so he will work my new thing. I don't like being nice to the big man because, well, he is the big man. But I will have to because I want to feel good like Lucy. She looks too cool and I am a cool cat.

We are still waiting for Santa Claus. Mom says we have 20 more days and nights and that is a long time to wait. But I will wait.

We have all of our pretty Christmas stuff on our house. We have some pretty Christmas stuff on our fence and our mailbox too. Mom went out last night and put pretty lights on the little building in the back that Mr. Cravitz says is redneck called the outhouse.

The big man got all worked up about the lights and asked Mom if she was ever going to get through putting pretty Christmas stuff on our house. I told the big man if he would help Mom, she would already be through. But no, he has to work on his computer and write numbers on paper for the place he goes called college.

Mom has pretty stuff in our house too. Mom's favorite pretty Christmas stuff are her nice dishes we only use on Christmas called china. I asked Mom if cats had special pretty Christmas dishes called china to eat cat treats out of and she said no. Maybe if I'm a good cat, she'll let me eat off her pretty dishes called china on the day Santa Claus comes.

Santa needs to hurry up. I am ready for him to come and bring me cat toys and treats. That would be cool and I am a cool cat.

I am still waiting for Santa Claus.

We had a nice weekend at our house. Mom and the big man got up on the day that was Saturday very early and put on white shoes with laces and caps to run away. They walked around our neighborhood first and I walked with them, but I do not like to run away so when they did that, I came in the house.

They left and went to the place where there are a bunch of stores to buy pretty stuff called Memphis. They said they had to buy pretty stuff for people called Christmas presents. I hope they remembered to get pretty for cats called Christmas presents too.

They came home with lots of sacks, bags and boxes with pretty stuff in them called Christmas presents. I helped them by attacking the sacks and slapping the pretty stuff. Then the big man shooed me away. He is no fun at all.

Mom has been at home for a bunch of days and nights and has not gone away on airplanes. I think that is very nice because she cooks dinner for me and the big man and she helps with my chores.

I having problems with the trees in the house, though. Every time I climb a tree, I get sprayed with water and I have to jump out very fast. I did not know the trees in the house had water squirters to get cats with! I am mad about that because I like to climb trees in the house. The big man gets all worked about me climbing the trees, he says I will knock the tree down. Maybe I should just climb him and see what happens.

I hope Santa Claus hurries up. I have been a good cat and I will get lots of presents! Santa Claus is cool, like me. I am a cool cat.